Are goals your worst enemy?

We all have goals. Sometimes they're called a Five Year Plan. Sometimes they masquerade as ToDo lists. There are whole systems devoted to managing goals, both personal and professional: Getting Things Done, to Franklin Covey's time management matrix from the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People".

However for many of us, these sorts of systems are harmful. Destructive. Anxiety-inducing. Definitely not good for inner calm!

Goals have set conditions for success. They often have set timeframes to be achieved in. They are not trifles, but usually something we are invested in. They have meaning. We attach our identity to them. We pride ourselves on their accomplishment.

But too often, we don't achieve those goals the way we envisage. We don't get there fast enough. We don't quite finish everything. We get 70% of the goal done in 130% of the time. Disappointment, stress, depression, uncertainty. Frustration!

Fortunately, there is another way. Revelation! Victory!

Focus on the journey and detach ourselves from the goal. 

What does that mean? Let's take a couple of examples:

Old way: "Lose 10kg in six months".
New way: "Make health a priority: monitor portion sizes and join a sporting club to train with."

Old way: "Earn a pay rise by the next performance review"
New way: "What am I passionate about at work? How can I tie it to the company focus?"

Sure, the goals all follow the SMART paradigm (another system!), but focussing on the journey means you CANNOT fail. If you enjoy the journey, the goal will naturally achieve itself. You don't have to force yourself to complete the necessary steps to achieve your goal, because the way you're getting there is now just a natural and enjoyable part of your life.

As a result, you become emotionally detached from your goal. The timeframe and the outcomes are less important, leaving you better able to handle any changes that might come your way.